>I'm okay with terms that facilitate communication, but in this case
>I'm a little wary of the baggage that comes along with the word
>'affair' when applied to a non-sexual but inappropriately close
>relationship. Not so wary that I'm going to crusade against it or
>anything, but wary nonetheless.

You said it better than me. Like you, I don't have a vehement reaction to it being used and I understand what people mean when they say it; I just don't always agree that any inappropriate emotional attachment can automatically be called an "emotional affair".
>
>> If deep understanding is the goal, even saying someone had an "affair"
>> wouldn't be descriptive. It could range from getting drunk and having a
>> one night stand with a stranger (which some people say wouldn't be too
>> devastating to them) to a full blown love affair.
>
>Well, actually (again, I'm more kicking around the idea than anything)
>I would never call a drunken sexual encounter 'an affair'. The term
>that I'd use that covers both affairs and drunken-one-nighters is
>'adultery' or 'cheating', which to me means any sex outside the
>marriage. For it to be 'an affair' to me, it'd have to have both
>components - the romance AND the sex.

Me, too. Although I know myself well enough to know that I'd have a heck of a time recovering from my SO having a fling or a one-nighter that wasn't technically an "affair" as well.

Lauri in WA